My Wingman - a personal journey with burns + scars

What if we only had today... what if today was the last chance you got to tell a loved one how much you love them?

This is Si. My wing man.

We’ve been together for 15 years this month. Our 15 yr anni.

We have 2 children together. Live & work together. He has propped me up so many times in my life and I’ve no doubt there’ll be many more times.

We are each other’s right arm. But more than that. We are each other’s strength. Maybe it’s an actual piece from each other’s physical hearts.

I'm a photographer & my favourite thing to do is take sneaky pictures of him on my iPhone because I love photography the most when people are natural, just doing them, being themselves. They often see a side of themselves that they’re not familiar in seeing. Not the classic ‘cheese’ but a natural side. The everyday side.

Of course I think Si is the fittest thing since sliced bread. He is rather a dashing gent though.

But Si was badly burned as a baby and seriously scarred down the left side of his face, neck, chest and arm. He was in & out of hospital for a long time. He had skin grafts taken from his thighs and put over onto his burns, in the 80’s when they weren’t like they are today. They saved his life.

Si grew up being picked on about his scars. It could have crushed a person psychologically for life. He couldn't bath for a long time although dressings had to be rigorously cleaned/changed. I mean can you imagine being a Mum & having to do this to your baby.

For a long time he couldn't get his skin grafts wet, which meant no swimming as a baby and then little boy, no joining in with the other kids. Being different. Being the odd one out. Looking unsightly. Kids can be so cruel.

But Si is the strongest person I know. He has a strength that just is. It’s so deep in him and embedded within that it ‘just is’. But it wasn't always like this.

Everyone who meets Si for the first time notices his scars. And looks. And tries not to get noticed looking. They see his scars. And then see his strength. Everyone who already knows Si would most probably not remember he even has them.

Si has managed to turn what could have been seen as a huge weakness, a vulnerability, a chink in his armour, into a strength, an internal power, a positive. He has worked on this inner strength. His confidence. And learning to love himself with scars. In a perfect world.

He’s quite a wow character. Lives fast. And does a million things before most people get out of bed. But the most impressive thing about Si is his complete & utter inner strength that comes through when he or anyone he loves doesn’t feel so strong.

He is a lion.

He is my lion.

And I’m going to carry on taking sneaky pics & writing sweet notes like this for him to know how good he is.

A Message to anyone who doesn't feel good enough or perfect right now

You are good enough. You can do anything you set your mind to. Even if you're scarred right now. Just keep going. Keep trying. And keep working on yourself. Go checkout Si's bit on the blog for more on his dad life.